


Breaking point

by Kingrey



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: (at some point), Angst, Arguing, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Non-Consensual Drug Use, The warnings went up, be careful
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 22:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15760575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kingrey/pseuds/Kingrey
Summary: Post-season 2 final AU: Instead of having time for himself, Mac is forced pretty quickly by his father to come back to work with Phoenix.It goes as well as one might expect.Months later, Jack decides that enough is enough.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again!
> 
> Here's my 2nd work for this fandom. No physical hurt this time, but it was a hundred times harder to write (I felt sooo bad)  
> Hope you have a good read!

Mac knew it was going to be a bad one when Jack slammed the door shut so hard that a picture frame fell down. As angry as he was, Jack generally tended to keep the confrontation verbal if it was with someone he loved, thanks to the bad memories Elwood left. But today, Jack was seriously pissed, more than Mac had ever seen him in a long time.

Not willing to face the storm head on, Mac went to the fridge to take a bottle of water. He grimaced when he saw it was empty except for leftover pizza; it was the place where Bozer’s recent departure was the most visible.

( _Wrong_ , a part of his brain said, _his absence is felt everywhere, more acutely than you ever thought it would_.)

Mac didn’t jump when Jack threw his car keys on the kitchen counter, but it was a near thing. Sighing, he turned to face him, too used to being glowered at to even wince anymore. Mac waited a bit, but Jack didn’t seem in the mood to start the conversation, so he bit the bullet.

“I did everything the best I could. I don't know why you’re so angry.”

Apparently, it was exactly the wrong thing to say. Jack snorted sarcastically, cold eyes still focused on Mac.

“You don’t know, really? To say that we thought you a genius.”  
“I defused the bomb! There were no casualties, everything turned out fine so _yes_ , I really don’t know.”  
“Oh, so the fact that you decided to go alone, without warning anyone about your new location thereby putting everyone in an unnecessary danger doesn’t cross your mind at all, does it?!”

There was a time when Jack genuinely yelling at Mac was a rare occurrence, but things changed. Now, their discussions were mostly composed by tense silences and angry arguing. Mac knew Jack was tired of it; he was too, but his partner seemed unable to understand his new motivations.

“I…”  
“Shut up” Jack interrupted, furious. “Shut up for once, ‘cause I don’t think I need your explanation, I already heard it so many time! _But Jack, I calculated all the risks..._ ”  
“I did”  
“ _Jack, why would I even need back up when my ego is so big it can fill an entire house…_ ”  
“It’s not…”  
“SHUT UP!” Jack exploded.

Wisely, Mac kept silent. In front of him, Jack was heaving, an accusatory finger pointed at Mac. The agent’s eyes were dark with a barely contained fury, that, Mac knew, had once emanated from fear. But the worry had been deeply buried under the growing irritation towards the blond’s erratic behaviour.

“You know who was _so_ proud that you single handedly overcame the guards and defused the bomb?” Jack laughed mirthlessly before answering. “That’s right, your fucking father! The man for who you keep doing dumb shit after dumb shit since he forced you to come back to the foundation!”  
“I thought you were happy that the team got to stay together” Mac answered with forced calmness.

The silence between them was heavy with the words Jack couldn’t say. Mac took a new sip of water, mostly to keep himself distracted from his partner’s eyes. Jack was… Deeply saddened. Deeply concerned. Deeply angry. Mac knew his remark was unfair; Jack was the first to ask him if that was really what he wanted, working under his father, and that was before he learned Mac didn’t really have a choice in the matter. He was, of course, happy the team got back together, but the blond knew that his happiness would have been privileged by everyone, especially Jack, if he said anything.

He didn’t.

Mac had been… Furious. His whole life had been a lie, everything he had achieved was a product of his father’s doing, even Harry had been on it. When his father ( _James_ , just James, he didn’t deserve to be called a father) had come to him with a proposal Mac just couldn’t refuse (informations on his enemies, help to protect the team, his family, from Murdoc and other psychos that could hurt them because they hated Mac), he had seen red. Once again, he was helplessly following James’ plans, choices out of his hands. Nothing to improvise, his whole life was already decided for him.

So Mac choose to do things his way or, since his way wasn’t really his anymore, in a new, totally unexpected way. He fought enemies with his bare hands, made plans that required no improvisation, calculated all the risks before going alone against it. He got things done and, each time he finished at the hospital, he thought that, at least, it was less time doing what James wanted.

Weirdly enough, Oversight wasn’t too bothered by this new way. The same thing couldn’t be said for Jack.

“You can’t keep doing this” Jack sighed.  
“What?”  
“Don’t play dumb, it doesn’t suit you. You can’t keep facing danger alone, putting people at risk only to prove to yourself that you can get out of it. You can’t keep being an all-around execrable person, driving everyone away from you. It’s not you Mac, you’ve never been mean!”  
“Oh really?” ironized Mac, “What exactly tell you that? What, you preferred the nice, helpful Angus that just wanted to be like his lying grandfather?!”

Jack closed his eyes. He seemed beyond exhausted. He pulled up a chair to sit, all the while massaging his temples.

“I know that you feel betrayed kid…”  
“Stop calling me that! You don’t…” Mac faltered in his anger for a moment. “You don’t get what it’s like. You can’t. Even our friendship was…”  
“Planned by your father, I know, you keep telling me that shit. That’s _bullshit_ though, and I already explained you why a thousand times. C’mon Mac, you know that what you’re doing isn’t anything near healthy.”

Silence stretched once again. Mac took a sip of water, but it couldn’t evacuate the tightness of his throat. His heart was beating in his ears and he just knew that, this time, Jack wouldn’t take his stubbornness as an answer.

“Your best friend for decades had to go live with his girlfriend to stop himself from punching you in the face” Jack started quietly. “Riley keeps asking to stay at the foundation if she absolutely has to help us, and you can’t have missed that most of the time, Jill is the one at her place”. Jack’s eyes were unwavering. “Matty the _hun_ is afraid to speak to you because you know exactly what buttons to push to make her feel guilty. Do you even realise how… How…”  
“Manipulative? Is that the word you're searching for?” said Mac sarcastically.  
“Yes.”

Mac didn’t flinch, but his chest felt cold. He knew, deep down, that what he was doing was wrong but Jack saying it was… It was more awful than he thought it would be.

“You’re scaring me, Mac. Not only because you keep getting yourself in danger, but also because I don’t recognise the guy who has been my friend all these years, the one that would have died before hurting his friends.”

Mac’s hands were clenched around the bottle. His heart was beating loudly, echoing in his aching head. He didn’t dare say anything, unconsciously knowing that he was at a turning point. Jack took a deep unsteady breath, but his eyes were cold and his voice steely when he spoke:

“We should leave the foundation, together. Tell Oversight to go to hell, the others would understand.”  
“What…?”  
“You need to distance yourself, reorganize your priorities and remember what makes you special”  
“Jack, I…” Mac’s eyes were burning.  
“I’ll be there. Maybe not physically with you if you don’t want that, but you have to know that I’ll be there, as always. Mac, I… I want to always be there for you. But these last months have been…” Jack choked up a little. “Literal hell. What you’ve been doing… I won’t take it anymore. You have to change.”

Mac felt as if his whole body was vibrating from his conflicting emotions. He didn’t want to cry (he wasn’t helpless anymore, he didn’t want to lose control again, he was his own person) so the feeling of injustice won.

“You can’t mean that. You can’t… Everything I’ve done was for you guys, for your safety!” he exploded. “So what, I do things differently, is that such a bad thing? Can’t I want to do things another way?”  
“Is that the way you want to do things?”  
“MAYBE! I don’t know! I can’t believe you, of all people, can't understand that I want to detach myself from my father?”

Jack’s eyes were unbearable. He had such a sorrowful expression, Mac felt like he couldn’t breath.

“When you came back to Phoenix, I thought that, maybe, you could learn to coexist more peacefully with your father. Instead, you decided to become just like him.”

Time seemed to stop for a second. Cold hands were twisting MacGyver’s stomach, making him nauseous. He laughed, but his ears were ringing so hard he wasn’t sure he did.

“Fuck you Jack.” Silence met him, and Mac felt an irrational desire to fill it, his wet eyes meeting Jack’s. “I’m not… I’m not anything like this bastard” he spat.

( _Except he was_ , a voice whispered in his head, _oh god he was_.)

“I came back because I thought that I needed help against guys like Murdoc but you know what? I don’t need my father! In fact, I don’t need anyone at the foundation!” he yelled, his eyes blurred with tears. “And I certainly don't need **_you_**!”  
“Good” Jack replied quietly. “Because I’m done.”

He got up from the chair slowly, with no emotions on his face. Mac was frozen, not breathing nor blinking while his world was shattering around him.

“I already handed my resignation to Matty, for her to give James tomorrow. I talked to Riley and Bozer about it too and they understand perfectly. I guess… I guess I just wanted to give you one last chance.” His eyes were distant but a sardonic smile adorned his face. “What a waste, right?”

He took back his keys on the kitchen counter silently before making his way to the door. Mac was going to vomit.

“Try not to die for nothing” Jack said without turning around. “And come find me if you ever locate your sanity again, you know my door will always be open.”

Mac’s eyes were too blurred by tears to see him go, but he heard clearly the unmistakable sound of the door closing. He couldn’t breath, his heart was in his throat. He let the water bottle fall on the ground, and leaned on the empty fridge, before sliding down to the floor. He didn’t dare make a sound (but why, exactly? There was nobody to hear him anymore). He put his head on his knees and kept sobbing in silence, knowing that it was all his fucking fault for being such an idiot.

For the first time in his life, Angus MacGyver had no idea on how he was going to fix things.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fact that your whole world is in shambles should be more visible, thought Mac.
> 
> Or Mac goes confront Oversight at the Phoenix foundation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Thanks to the very sweet and encouraging comment from Shad988972, I decided to extend the story and fix things! This chapter is more of a transition one, I'm not really sure about it but... Well, it's written, might as well post it!

It was weird, how normal everything was the morning after, when Mac felt as if the whole world had changed. He almost wished that he was physically sick, that other people could see that his suffering because the turmoil in him was too suffocating to be invisible. Jack was… Gone.

As afraid as he always had been of this possibility, as prepared as he once tried to be, he never could have anticipated how much it would really hurt. He lost so much already, so many people abandoned him again and again so he thought that he could… Soldier on. Keep going, as he did every other times. It would hurt, but it wouldn’t be that different.

(It was though. It was, because Jack always chose Mac without needing to share the same blood, to have a debt of some kind or even to know him for more than 64 days. Jack chose Mac willingly, every time, because he liked the person he was and he left because he disliked the person he had become.)

Mac left the house and decided not to use his car. It was dumb, but apparently idiocy was his new signature move so a thirty minutes walk (and no bitter memories of Jack laughing with him while driving) it was.

He reached the foundation and, when he entered the part where most of the agents were, he suddenly realised that people didn’t greet him anymore, not even with a smile. _You can’t keep being an all-around execrable person, driving everyone away from you_ , Jack’s voice taunted him.

Mac didn’t know how to fix it.

With no game plan, he headed toward Oversight’s office, dreading the confrontation with his father. He had no idea what he was going to say, what he could even say. Did he want to quit? It felt too much like giving up and being weak and helpless, once again. But staying meant losing Jack and Mac… Couldn’t envision a future without Jack in it (at least, not a happy one).

Matty was getting out of the office as he arrived. She glanced at him, smiled without much conviction before going on her way. _Manipulative_ , his brain reminded him, and Mac wanted to throw up.

James was as composed as ever when Mac entered, but his eyes were sharp and focused.

“Being late isn’t in your usual behaviour, Angus” ( _What do you even know about my usual behaviour_ , Mac wanted to scream) “But you still have a good timing. I guess that you know about Dalton and Davis’ resignations?” James said neutrally  
“I… Riley too?”  
“Yes, she emailed me this morning, something about another opportunity being closer to her boyfriend.”

Billy, Mac thought with a pang. Before his return, Riley had envisioned to work with the Coltons, but she finally decided to stay with the team, her family. She was the first one to openly disapprove of his attitude and to call him out on his shit. She was also the first one to distance herself from him, tired of his bad moods and stubbornness. Mac wasn’t really surprised; she was a fiercely independent woman and he would never blame her for protecting herself from… From _assholes_ like him.

“Well, it’s a shame, but I’ve been very satisfied with your new behaviour on the field, and I think that you are more than able to go on your own without…”  
“I don’t want to.”

Mac would have felt pleased by the puzzled look on James’ face if his head wasn’t pounding with anxiety. He took a deep shaky breath before carrying on:

“I want to leave Phoenix too. I shouldn't have come back in the first place”  
“That’s… You know why you came back. Furthermore, you became a more efficient and useful agent in these last few months. I am… I am proud of you Angus”

His ten years old self would have been overjoyed, Mac thought bitterly. As of now, he could barely hide his shaking, white knuckled fist.

“It’s not worth… All of this. Nothing is.”

Oversight sighed, like a disappointed parent catching their child stealing candy. Mac had a not so irrational desire to punch him in the face.

“Don’t you have enough of following Dalton’s every footsteps?” James said stonily.  
“Oh, because yours are so much better, right?” Mac exclaimed. “Just… Just let it go. I’m leaving and, this time, it’s definitive.”

Mac turned on his heels, knowing exactly what he wanted for the first time in months. However, the pleading voice of his father froze him in place.

“Angus, please, wait. I need you.” James seemed sincere enough (if that even meant something anymore). “There is a mission, a very important one and… Well, I lost two of my best elements today.”

If Mac was at the top of his game, he would have seen that his father was playing him once again, that he knew exactly what to do to get his son to follow his plans. Unfortunately, Mac wasn’t, and guilt choked him up.

“A lot of lives are depending the success of this mission” James added, “and I know that you can do it, Angus.”  
“... What’s the catch?” asked Mac, still facing the door.  
“It’s a dangerous mission. You’ll be alone and if you get caught, you will be disavowed by the agency but… I promise you, Angus, that it can be your last one.”

Mac finally met his father’s surprisingly pleading eyes, anxious that he would (once again) make the wrong choice.

“If… If I do it, you will also help me and Jack to find another job, whichever we each chose.”  
“I promise Angus”

Mac thought… He didn’t know what he thought. His brain seemed stuck in a loop of self-recrimination; if he accepted, he would feel guilty about letting Jack down, and if he refused, he would feel guilty about another agent being hurt, and lives being lost while he could have saved them. His father looked sincere about his offer, and he was pretty straightforward about the risks.

“I…” Mac took a deep breath. “You’ve got a deal.”

_Try not to die for nothing_ , Jack said quietly in his head and Mac swore to himself that it was a promise too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> The fun stuff begins next chapter, sadly, but I thought that a confrontation between Mac and James was kind of inevitable. I don't really know how to deal with James... I truly despise what he's done to Mac, but I also believe that he thinks he does the right thing and that he genuinely want Mac to have a nice life.  
> That doesn't excuse anything tbh, but that's interesting =')
> 
> Sooo questions time! (I know it's kinda weird but I'm very anxious when I comment and I always wished authors would ask for specific feedback)  
> \- Do you think that Mac made a good choice? (James' argumentation was mostly to benefit himself, but I think that in the end, Mac's need to help others will always win)  
> \- Do you think Mac can forgive himself for what he did? (We all know that Jack, Bozer and Riley will lmao, but him?)  
> \- Do you think this AU is interesting? (As sad as it makes me, I always wished to see Jack as something else than the forever bodyguard, always forgiving Mac for everything)
> 
> I hope you had a good read, even if this chapter isn't the most exciting! I'll try to post the rest soon!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission! Also called: the art of making everything worse than it already is even if, arguably, Mac did his best.
> 
> (Sometimes it's not enough)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm very sorry for the delay, I struggled with the start of this chapter and school got in the way. I hope you like it anyway, and the next chapter should be up sooner!

So, Mac might have made a mistake.

His lips twisted into a mirthless grin at the thought, almost hearing Jack’s sarcastic remarks in his head. _Only one mistake, you sure?_ So, Mac might have spent the last months making numerous mistakes, each one being worse than the precedent. Per say, he didn’t really regret accepting his father’s last assignment: he knew he was helping people, he knew it was important and he also knew he couldn’t have lived with himself if he had refused.

Nonetheless, he would have liked to know that the mission would took him nearly one month.

He wasn’t usually sent as an undercover operative, not only because Jack wouldn’t allow it but also because his skillset wasn’t especially appropriate. But, in this case, the “villains” were in a desperate need of a chemist, and while it wasn’t Mac’s specialty, he was the most qualified agent at Phoenix. (And well… Jack wasn’t here anymore to object.) So he contacted them and managed to access their base, which was surprisingly situated in Canada. Between earning the trust of the bad guys, discovering their scheme and trying to slow them down without being made, Mac hadn’t had a minute to himself and without noticing, twenty-six days had passed.

He wasn’t sure what was worse to imagine: did Jack think that he didn’t care enough to try and mend things, or was he so tired of Mac that he blocked him everywhere, thus not noticing Mac’s absence at all. (Objectively, Mac knew it wasn’t Jack’s style, but... He also thought that he would have deserved it.)

It didn’t really matter anymore. To be blunt, Mac fucked up, and the whole operation blew up. In all fairness, one of the three guys in charge fucked up first, by being seen and almost arrested as he went for supplies. He took one policeman hostage in order to flee and, thanks to their base being so remote, in one of the coldest part of north west Canada, he managed to get back without being followed. They all agreed to execute the cop, after making sure that they were absolutely safe.

Of course, Mac helped the policeman break free and gave him access to one of the car unnoticed.

The guy, who was, probably as some joke from the universe, named Jack, insisted that Mac should come with him. It was a logical course of action, seeing as, as soon as the guys would come back from their perimeter check, they would know that their too-smart and not-yet-trusted chemist was probably behind the escape. But Mac remembered the chemical weapons he helped create (they weren’t that great, Mac made sure of it; but even a small spreading of gas could be harmful to vulnerable people), the dozens of maps of malls hidden in one of the computer… He couldn’t let that happen.

He went back and destroyed as much weapons and data as he physically could before getting caught. Mac even managed to seriously hurt three guards before being knocked out. ( _With Jack as his backup, he wouldn’t have been caught at all_ , observed a voice suspiciously alike to Jack’s in his head. He ignored it.)

So, there was Mac. He woke up about ten minutes ago, disoriented, hands and feet handcuffed to a chair, stripped of his leather jacket, the side of his head dampened by blood. From the look of it, he was in a small, empty and cold room. He was sure the guys were absolutely pissed at him, or they would be once they realised the extent of his destruction. And his father had been pretty straightforward about the consequences of a failure: Mac was alone in this and he was probably not going to have a good time.

He didn’t jump when the door was slammed open, but it was a near thing. It was Steve, the most hot-tempered guy of the band, and also the one who fucked up initially. It was personal for him, he needed to redeem himself in the eyes of his allies and, judging by the intensity of the anger in his eyes, he was ready to do anything to preserve himself. Mac grimaced internally but otherwise kept his expression neutral.

The first thing Steve did was push Mac’s chair to the side, making him fall painfully on the ground. His arm was going to be bruised, but he forgot it all after the new blow on his head. He was not going to puke but it honestly was a near thing.

“You bastard! You fucker destroyed everything!” He backed up his claim with a kick to Mac’s stomach. “I’m going to fucking murder you you little…”  
“Enough!”

It was probably Tom, but the blond didn’t bother opening his eyes. The world was already spinning so much. Without warning, his chair was picked up and the movement made him grunt in pain. He felt a hand caress his hair and his eyes snapped open in panic. It was indeed Tom. If Steve was hot-tempered, Tom was just plain creepy. That was way worse.

Tom smiled at him while he kept going, even though Mac was trying to lean away from him. He felt sick, and didn't know anymore if it was because of his injuries or Tom’s behaviour.

“The hell you are doing?” interrupted gruffly Steve (Mac could have kissed him right now).  
“No need to brutalize him. He set us back, but hey, that’s a lesson we’ll learn from.”  
“A lesson?! It’s months and months of work down the drain!”  
“Hey… Not my fault for… For the cop…” Mac tried to intervene, his voice weak.

Wrong thing to say apparently, since Steve just launched himself at him. Thankfully, Tom stopped him with a strong punch to the nose.

“Know your place, Steve” he spat out. “You know he’s not wrong”  
“You fucking…!”  
“Whatever”

Mac could practically see smoke coming out of Steve. It would have been funny if it wasn’t for his position.  
Tom looked back at him but he had lost his smile; his eyes were burning with an unrecognizable emotion, and despite Mac’s drowsiness, the blond clenched his jaw and held his head up high. Perhaps he was screwed for the moment, but he wasn’t yet defeated. A MacGyver wasn’t anything if not resourceful, he thought bitterly.

“I must admit, kid, that you’re a pain in my ass. I wish we could discover who you are and what you want but…” Tom sighed, “ I guess we don’t always get what we want. We need to evacuate” he said, now addressing Steve.

The other man grumbled but complied. Mac swallowed nervously. He hated Tom, more than any of the others. He just… Loved seeing people hurt. Relished in their pain.  
As of now, the man had one hand in his pocket, obviously clamped around something. He smiled when he saw Mac show curiosity, and took out a syringe full of… something. Mac tried to squash the terror in him that threatened to make him lose his cool and he definitely didn’t think of his last experience with being drugged. ( _Apparently, there is some kind of a causality between being on bad terms with Jack and getting drugged without my consent_ , Mac thought faintly).

“Here’s my gift to celebrate our bittersweet goodbye! I’d love to see you go through it, you know. That would have been a beautiful sight…”

While speaking, Tom got closer to Mac, until a point where the agent could feel his breath. Naturally, Mac headbutted him. It certainly wasn’t a good idea for his already aching head, or his health in general but, hey, Mac was now used to making mistakes.

“Well, I guess I shouldn't have given you the occasion to do this” chuckled Tom, wiping of the blood from his nose. “You were an interesting one, kid, too bad you got caught.”

Without further ado, he firmly grabbed Mac’s hair and pulled his head back painfully. The agent couldn’t even try to extract himself before he felt the syringe being plunged into his neck. Mac stilled, worried that Tom was going to make a mistake, and regretted it immediately when he heard the man murmur _good boy_ under his breath. (Could he headbutt him again without giving himself a more dangerous concussion?)

The injection was quickly over and Mac was trying to calm himself, so as to slow his heart rate. He didn’t want the drug to spread more quickly than it already would. Tom was still in front of him, his forever creepy smile adorning his face. God, Mac wished that Steve was still here, how fucked up is that?

Suddenly, as if a switch was turned on, warmth engulfed him, starting from his chest. He felt his body relax on the chair and even his frantic mind seemed to be soothed. A hand was going through his hair and he thinks he smiled, but he didn’t feel most of his face. He met Tom’s satisfied eyes. Something in him, no more than a twinge, was displeased to see him, but he felt so detached from reality that it didn’t really matter. The hand was nice though and he whined when it disappeared.

Tom was speaking but Mac’s ears sounded as though they were underwater. He thinks he heard “fascinating” somewhere before he saw Tom’s finger getting nearer. He poked Mac’s wound with it and, even if Mac knew it should hurt like hell, he just felt some slight discomfort. Uh. That was great! He wasn’t hurting anymore! He smiled at Tom.

Someone appeared at the door, the last bad guy. Mac didn’t remember his name right now, but it was a weird one that sounded like rock. He was saying something that Mac didn’t follow, suddenly too preoccupied with looking at the ceiling. There was a weird stain on it.

Tom touched his shoulder. He had a knife and Mac wondered if it was for him. He felt Tom doing something to his arms and his ankles but he didn’t look. Maybe he cut them, so I don’t escape, Mac thought. He giggled. No one was in the room anymore.

He hadn't felt that warm and relaxed in a long long time. It was as if he was in a group hug with Jack, Bozer, Riley, Matty and even Jill. Oh, and Sam! And Bozer’s weird robot. And Zoe. And his grandfather. And his mom too. God, _that_ would be a great hug. He would just be in the middle of it, smothered with love and affection.

How long had he been here? He needed to find Jack. He was disoriented, he couldn’t think and in these situations, Jack always wanted to see him. Mac got up and subsequently fell down on the floor. Hey, his arms and feet were still there! Tom just cut the restraints. What a _great_ guy. Mac wanted to at least be on his knees, but his arms were trembling too much.

He rolled on his back and looked again at the weird stain. It looked like coffee but how does one get coffee on the ceiling? Weird. His chest was also feeling weird. It wasn’t going up and down as much as it should. Maybe he should be worried? He just didn't have the energy to feel worry.

Jack. His name was swimming in Mac’s head. _Jack, Jack, Jack_. Maybe he was hurt? Oh, that thought managed to stress Mac quickly. If Jack was hurt, he needed to find him! He renewed his efforts to get up and managed to crawl to the wall. With its help, he got on his trembling feet and started to walk. _Jack, Jack, Jack_. Where was Jack? Mac felt as if his heart was beating slower and slower, when it should go wild for Jack. They will have a discussion later on appropriate rates in situation of stress.

Mac walked a lot helped by the wall. He found some dead people, none of them Jack, and a lot of empty space with no Jack in it. He hoped it wasn’t too late. His foot met something on the ground and he fell. His reflexes didn’t kick on time, so his head met the ground first. That was bad, he thought distantly, but he didn’t feel it. He was so tired though… His eyes just begged him to be allowed to close for the day.

Tempted as he was, Jack was probably in danger. He couldn't just nap! But boy, did he want to. The warmth from earlier (when was it? Ten minutes or ten hours ago?) had completely disappeared. He felt so cold. He couldn’t retain his shivering. There was no more group hug, everyone had left. _That’s fair_ , Mac thought, _I was a dick_. _And Zoe and grandpa and mom are dead, they couldn’t have been there anyway_. And everyone else hated him. God, maybe he should nap after all, he didn’t want to think about it. His chest still wasn’t moving right.

But Jack, what about him, wasn’t he in danger? Mac wasn’t sure. His memory was stained, every piece of information was mixing with another. Jack was hurt, but was this image from Cairo or today? If he was unsure, he should check it out anyway. Better a mistake than a dead Jack. Just the thought of it made him shudder. (That and the cold)

Even though he wanted to get up, his body wasn’t listening. He couldn't even get on his back. He was cold. His eyes were open but there was blackness in his vision anyway and Mac wanted to cry. He wanted to find Jack. He wanted the group hug back. He wanted… He wanted… He wanted to apologize to everyone. He had been an asshole and he didn’t… He couldn’t lose his friends because of that. His throat was constricted and he felt tears fall on his cheeks. He wouldn’t usually cry (and was it usual if he was drugged out of his mind?) but all his emotions, all his guilt got the better of him and were choking him up.

His breathing wasn’t right. He felt cold, so,  _so_ cold. Tom was not a great guy. Mac cried and hoped that Jack was alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Booooy I wasn't sure I should cut there but... There you go anyway. Sorry? Help is coming, I assure you!
> 
> Warning spoilers but I saw the beginning of season 3 and I had mixed feelings about it, like Jack trying on purpose to make Mac come back? Mac leaving with a note? Meh. Ah and I saw people being like "he's too harsh on his dad, he sounds like a teenager throwing a tantrum, he should just accept the apology"... Big meh. It's not because he is his dad that Mac owes him anything and apologising is a pretty easy way out of "I abandoned you when you were a child". Honestly, if someone is that toxic to you, family or not you should do what you are comfortable with and sometimes it is not ever talking to them again.  
> I'm kinda afraid of what the show will chose to do with their relationship, I don't want Mac's feeling to be ignored or... (i don't find the word but like, a rebuttal? Is there a verb?? I'm too lazy to search). I certainly don't want to hear any variation of "it's your father, he deserves a chance" cause f*** no. But, as with a lot of tv show, I'm ready to be disappointed lmao
> 
> Well, I already talked a lot and I can't think of many question about the chapter... What do you think will happen next? (The suspense is debatable, we all know who is coming, you guys just don't know how)  
> Did you like drugged Mac? (I sure love to write him)
> 
> And that's it. Oh, and I know for now there is only one chapter left, but maybe I will do 5 instead, I'm not sure yet!
> 
> Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> So uh... Sorry?
> 
> I had this idea where I wanted to see a fic where Jack genuinely couldn't deal with Mac anymore and uh... Yeah, that's it, I hope it's not too OOC!  
> I hope you liked it and, if you have any idea on how to fix the situation (I certainly don't lmao), don't hesitate to share it!
> 
> Some questions if you don't know what to comment (they are of course optional, I love all feedback even just keyboard smashing!):  
> \- Do you think this situation is believable? (In all its aspects, being the conversation itself, Mac's behaviour or even Bozer going to live elsewhere!)  
> \- Was the constant switching between heavy dialogue and descriptions fluid enough? (I tried to not go to far with one or the other but it's difficult to judge by yourself ahah)  
> \- Do you want a follow-up of the story? (Yes this is the 2nd blatant attempt to get inspiration, I only feel moderately ashamed)
> 
> (I don't know if you guys noticed, but I like to talk a lot lmao)  
> Oh and, random info, but know that I write everything with an awful french accent in my head... It threw me for a loop to know that most readers will read it correctly =')
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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